You just never know. When you least expect it!

That title is so true. I bet there isn’t a person alive who hasn’t said it or whose life isn't shaped by its meaning.

Every day when I open my laptop and look at the desktop articles, I come face to face with so many changes in our world. None of us knows what any new day will hold. We think we do and that we control our lives, but in reality, we don't.

One unexpected challenge, one other person’s decision affecting our life, one national event opening a whole life-changing set of events we can't control. The list goes on and on. You can probably add some of your own personal surprises. Health issues, financial issues, family issues, accidents, slips or falls, careless actions, things that you cannot take back. Or one moment in time that you’ll reap the consequences of for the rest of your life or the life of someone else.

Reality is a hard place to live sometimes. We have to face it head-on. Ignoring it or hoping it will go away only prolongs the pain. I think the times in my life that I fought what was happening took me so much longer to overcome.

Aging—My aging has taught me so many things. I’m not at all the person I was. In so many ways I’m glad that younger me is gone—or most of her.

I woke up this morning thinking about the friend who introduced me to the Lord. Our lives were joined by God’s plan. Although at the time, I don’t think either of us knew it. It was quite unexpected. I was a hairdresser then, new to the town and trying to build a clientele. Some days I sat for hours with nothing to do. The tension and frustration grew. Then one Friday afternoon I answered the phone and a woman introduced herself as Geri Greer. She worked out at the boys’ ranch, and she needed to find someone to do her hair on Fridays. It would take her about 30 minutes to get here, but she would become a regular.

My first thought was not positive. That meant sitting all day if business stayed so slow and then being late picking up my son every Friday. That didn't look like an option for my dilemma. But for some reason I agreed.

Sure enough, most Fridays Geri was 30 to 35 minutes late arriving. But the crazy thing was that we hit it off from the start. Her personality was the complete opposite of mine. I was negative, constantly frustrated, and often angry deep down inside. Long story short, we became hard and fast friends.

I watched her life like a Hawk. She had three kids, and I had one. We joined our families. But where I was moody and irritated most of the time, Geri was happy-go-lucky and wasn’t always a second away from loading the bullet like I was.

One day I couldn’t stand it anymore and asked her point blank, “Geri, what is wrong with you? How can you be so happy about everything?”

I was expecting any answer other than the one she gave me. A smile spread even wider over her face, and she said, “Sue, I have a hot one to heaven!”

Needless to say, a four-letter word came out of my mouth, and I groaned in even greater frustration. My dear friend was about to try and sell me on religion. But that wasn’t the case, and she made it very clear. She wasn’t trying to sell me anything. She was telling me about her relationship with Jesus.

I’d known ABOUT God but hadn’t heard of Jesus. But at the moment, not only was I even more frustrated, but another of the Trinity showed up—The Holy Spirit. Although it wasn’t a short period of time, I’ll shorten it here.

The Holy Spirit went to work on me, and He would not give an inch. Every single day and night now, He had been unleashed on me, and I couldn’t get away from the hounding feelings. Geri tried to give me all the help she could, but she knew this was something I had to deal with on my own. Finally, the struggle ended in my bed at around two in the morning.

I literally said out loud, “OKAY! OKAY! I give in! If you want my life, you can have it. But first you have to make me two promises. First, that you will never leave me or forsake me.”

I had been left and forsaken so many times in my life that I didn’t think I could stand one more. And if this thing of giving one’s life over to God was real, then this was my last chance to ever change.

That night, the Holy Spirit filled me with His presence, and I became a Christian. The next night, when I walked into Geri’s kitchen, the first thing I said to her was, “Geri, what does it feel like to become a Christian? Because I think I did last night.”

Her eyes filled with tears and she said, “Sue, I knew something had changed when you came in tonight.”

And the rest is history. It would take a much longer post to tell you everything God has done in my life since that night. Deep, deep internal healing. Mental and emotional healings, even physical healings. I am NOT the same person I was 54 years ago. And the Holy Spirit is still changing me.

So why was this brought back to my mind when I woke up today? Because I was thinking about someone I know whose life needs this same thing to happen to them, but it looks unlikely. Whatever happened to them in childhood or even today, they are so in need of God. But they resist every single attempt anyone makes to share anything with them. And the worst thing is they believe that they ARE saved because God loves everyone, and there's no way he is going to send anyone to hell. They truly believe this!

I’ve prayed so much for this person, wondering if there is even one small opening that the Holy Spirit can get through and bust them wide open. In my heart, I know that it’s not the Holy Spirit failing; it's them. Has their heart hardened with a lie to the point that every day they grow more and more resistant to God? It's more than sad. It’s tragic.

There’s a life that they have no idea is waiting for them to just give the Holy Spirit one minute, one second of surrender, and their life will change beyond their imagination.

I know… because it happened to me. And not just me- millions of other people. So why are they so hard?

So, I’m going to ask the Precious Holy Spirit to quicken the title of this posting for me…You just never know. When you least expect it!

I bless you.

I’ve never been a PROTESTOR!

Let me start with a disclaimer concerning my title. All my life, I have never joined any picket line, marched waving a sign for some right I think is being violated, or anything else that would cause me to join a public mob. I’m just not that kind of person.

Maybe if you are a “cause fighter,” you would accuse me of letting others do all the fighting. Maybe you would be right. But you would be asking me to do something that I am not personally wired to do. I believe people who hit the streets moments after and continue to camp out have what I call “an in-your-face personality.” To explain myself one more way, if I got pulled over when I drove, instantly, when that police officer walked up to my door: They represent authority to me!

These people who won’t roll down their windows and instantly start shouting their rights, refuse to step out of the car, on and on; to me, they are in the wrong.

They are causing themselves a trip to jail, in my opinion. Even the police will say to them as they are handcuffing them and putting them in the back of the cop car, “all you had to do was just cooperate.” Most of the time, there is alcohol or drugs involved. This is not a world you will ever find me in.

So now let me talk about what is on my mind and perhaps most people's minds who listen to the news. My first remark is that, even though I’m not a marcher, I do spend a lot of time in prayer about the issues of the world that I feel compelled to address. I try very hard to give over my opinion to the Lord and ask Him to guide my thoughts.

In the matter of the Clancy trial, I’ve had my sleep and daily life invaded by a lot of thought and prayers. I knew before I made any remarks one way or the other, I had to look at this woman, and as hard as it is to forgive someone who has done such an unimaginable, inhumane thing as this, God says that we are to forgive. None of us deserves forgiveness, but all of us can be unconditionally forgiven by God.

According to what I did listen to, there is no argument that Clancy is guilty of killing her three precious children. The WHY is what has been at the top of the deliberations.

It might be cherry-picking on my part, but these things would have convinced me of my verdict.

I think Clancy is very intelligent.

She did her homework.

She withheld important information from those trying to treat her illness.

She threw in hearing “a male voice” with vague instructions. It seemed like a last-minute idea to help her mental condition.

One minute she’s a functioning person making normal choices and decisions with no evidence of what her defense has tried to present as severe psychosis.

She seemed to pick and choose when she wanted to present as having a problem and when she might have been tired of keeping up the front.  

I think this was absolutely premeditated when the time came. She got her husband out of the house. Lengthened his time away with the phone call to go to CVS.

She knew when and how she was going to kill her children. There was no voice during this time giving her exact instructions.

Her attempts to kill herself were lame. She knew exactly where and how deep to make the cuts; she did neither. All of this was documented and confirmed by professionals.

It could have ended in the bedroom. By the time her husband got back, she would have bled out or been close to it.

Dropping from a second-story window, in my opinion, would not assure death. And it didn’t.

 Her interactions, once she realized that her plan had failed, led her to request a lawyer. Her concern for her children's safety was secondary. The only reason, in my mind, that she even asked about them was: if her entire plan failed, what would she be convicted of going forward?

I’m sorry, but when I look at her, I see a very smart, manipulative individual. I think she took in a lot of people. If she was so tired of life and supposed to have loved her children so much, why didn’t she just take her own life? In Clancy’s case, what differs from other women who killed their children is that there were many voices either convincing them of demon possession that needed cleansing or some other constant verbal agitation. Clancy’s voice was one and done.

The needed assurance of timing, found by googling and calling to confirm the time she would need, is absolutely premeditated.

The main thing in my mind as I see her sitting in that wheelchair is the one thing she didn’t plan on. Forgive me, I’m not usually a suspicious person, but somewhere in me, I think that one day there will be a news report about feelings miraculously returning to her legs.

My summary:

I won't be marching in a pink shirt cheering for this woman who brutally killed her precious children. So, I asked myself, trying to put myself in that basement, asking this question: “How could a mother squeeze the life out of her little children while watching them fight for their lives until they stopped? There had to be some level of momentary insanity. Doing it not once but three times goes beyond anything holy or moral. So, any argument that anyone would present to me that she was this loving mother goes completely away.

Finally, I’ve been called for jury duty but wasn't picked. So, I admit I don’t know the full intensity of serving.

But being at the point we are at right now, with a hung jury that didn’t ask to see any of the evidence that might have cleared up what was keeping them from being in total agreement, is “fishy.”

Again, this is only my opinion. I completely understand that jurors have to give up their lives for a brief, if not longer, time. This jury went home each night and swore that they didn’t listen to or watch ANY news that would have influenced them. To my knowledge, they are not 12 blind and deaf people. Lastly, I would definitely find her guilty of manslaughter.

One last thing that needs saying. I realize that these 12 people have to go on in their lives. No matter how much has been done to hide their identity, you know it will leak out either nationally or within their neighborhoods. And depending on why they voted, there will be “crazies” who make death threats or harass them.

So, yes, I can completely have compassion on any set of jurors in this day and age because we are living in a different era.

Regardless of all this, I pray that the majority will lay aside the mother’s guilt and her future and prayerfully remember those three sweet lives that were lost. THEY have been overlooked. That to me is the true tragedy.

After all is said and done, and every issue brought to the world’s attention, the bottom line is that we, as a people, have to do better!

I bless you

 

 

 

 

 Hidden for a purpose.

I hardly know where to start this posting. So many things are running through my mind that have shaped my life lately. First, you never know what a day will bring. I’m sure you have heard that before and have had it be a reality in your life.

The good things we can handle and are often welcomed, but the not-so-good things are harder. Recently, a friend reappeared in my life who was supposed to have been here for me when I moved to Florida. We spent maybe 5 times together before she dropped out of my life. It hurt. It confused me. It broke my heart to know that she could do that to me.

I went to God. I held on while the waves kept trying to pull me under. Finally, one day He lifted me into that rowboat I was so desperately in need of. It’s amazing when you get to the end of yourself and put everything in God’s hands that the light begins to come into your situation.

When I moved here, I prayed that my relationship with God would become more real and deeper than ever before. That He would become number one in my life.

Well, guess what, in order for that to happen, He had to move the number one person I was depending on OUT of my life first. To clear the way for my prayer to begin to happen, my friend had to go.

I won’t go into great detail about what was going on in her life that caused her to decide to step away from me, but hearing about all of it now with her return—it all makes sense. She was drowning in her own life. I might have thought that I was a casualty, but really I was the easiest to set aside. She knew she could walk away from at least one of the problems she was dealing with and trusted our friendship.

I sat listening to her tell me all that had transpired since she left. Believe me when I tell you it was MORE than a plate full, and it's not all over yet. Some of the major things have been resolved, but the residue still needs to be dealt with.

After our conversation that night, I heard the Lord speaking very clearly to me. “Susan, I allowed it for two reasons. You prayed for it, and I saved you from having to be in the middle of things that you couldn’t do anything about.”

What was a terrible disappointment and heartbreak, now with understanding, became a blessing. It took me about four months to come to the first realization that God had hidden me away here to become my closest friend—just like I asked. It humbles me to know how much God loves me, and with all the billions and billions of people in this world, he wants to be with me.

It's hard to understand God's presence because we can’t see Him. Everything about Christianity is based on faith. You have to believe. But the more you do believe, the more God gives you a sense of His presence in such a real way that you just know when you are hearing Him, and He has drawn you near to Himself.

Maybe you feel like you are alone or forgotten. I’ve been there too. Let me suggest that you take a deep breath and allow yourself to think that maybe it's not that you are alone, but God has hidden you so that He can become everything to you.

Yes, we need people, and God is the one who said that it was not good for man to be alone. But He wants to be FIRST in our lives. If we trust His wisdom and love, we’ll find that being hidden away has a purpose. And when you least expect it, that day will come, and you’ll see the full picture.

As always, I bless you.

 Here today and gone tomorrow…

I’m sure you have heard this phrase at some time in your life. We apply it to all sorts of things: seasons, gardens, jobs, and various other things.

But the greatest one that we all will have participation in is—death. I went to the memorial service of the father of a friend of mine the other day. I went to show respect and love. I hadn’t met her father, but I was soon to get a vivid picture of who the man was.

She was given the joy of sharing memories about her father; I listened intently as she began to paint a picture of a man who was a father in every aspect of the title. My mind was listening, but my heart was trying to avoid the stirring feelings as I heard her words.

Her father was an incredible person. She started with his early childhood, talking about stories he shared with her and her siblings. Some were humorous, and somehow he wondered how he made it through those years. He suffered more than his share of childhood dings and dents. His lust for life put him in precarious situations that perhaps most boys his age would have avoided. But he made it through and became a young man with new desires and dreams.

One of which was to join the military. It’s one of the often-told stories of being underage and having to have a parent sign for them—which his mother did. His father, as it turned out, wasn’t too happy about the decision.

But the military helped him grow up, and he shuffled through a mixture of jobs. Settling on driving supplies to the soldiers. It was very evident as my friend shared these stories that her father was a dedicated giver.

He found the Lord in mid-life and felt the need to serve even more. It became his lifelong pursuit. What stuck in my mind was how he treated his children. Here was a father who actually loved his children, played with them, laughed with them, and gave of himself to them.

I didn’t have such a father. To this day, whenever I see a man loving his little girl, it amazes me. Yes, most men want a son, but there is something in the eyes of a man who looks at his little girl as a prize he won in life! My friend’s father was such a man.

I came home and was surprised by the lingering feelings that followed me even into my sleep. I kept thinking—this man is gone. Not to sound morose, but he was cremated. So, I guess you could say that he isn’t completely physically gone. That’s not making light of the fact that he will never be gone because of the legacy of his life he left behind in memories with those who loved and knew him.

But what bothered me throughout the night was the fact that one day we are here and the next we are gone physically. I thought about the millions of people that I have no idea even existed.  Of course, some famous individuals did something significant enough in this world that they are still being remembered to this day. We who interacted with those who have passed away are the only ones who remember that that person existed.

Going to a funeral makes you think about who will remember you when it’s your time to leave this world. I wondered how many people lived such a solitary life that there was not a soul who remembered that they even existed. I’m sure there are cases where this happened. They were here today and gone tomorrow without a single person remembering that they too once were a living, breathing human being. I thought that no matter what the lifestyle, whether a loved friend or a lifelong hidden-from-the-world person, there is a void. But voids never last. Something always fills a void-life goes on.

Leaving this world will be the same for all of us. It will be like a door opening; we walk through it, and it closes, and we never come back. It’s the memories we make by interacting with others that, even in the smallest circle, we say we were here.

As a Christian, I know that this life is only a brief one. Whether I’m remembered by even a few, that’s not the end of me. My friend’s father laid aside his earthly housing, walked through that door, and is physically gone.

You and I will do that very same thing one day. If you don’t know the Lord, then there is a big difference between us. I have someone waiting on me to walk through the other side of that door who will welcome me home. It’s where I started, and it’s where I will eventually go back to. The Word says that we were all with Him before the foundation of the world.

You might not believe that you existed with God before you existed here. One way or the other, you will end up standing back before God.

It’s always my prayer that someone who stumbles upon my blog will be convicted of their need for salvation. Maybe today it will be you.

I bless you.

 

Harboring an offense…

Have you ever woken up feeling happy and ready to enjoy your day, only to get hit with an unexpected offense out of the blue? One of those things someone says or does that you were not expecting. Wham! It hits you right in that vulnerable spot that you didn’t think you still had.

As a Christian, God has done an incredible work in me. It’s taken 54 years, and there’s more work to do. No one will ever be perfect this side of Heaven. But, when I realize how much God has healed me of in my emotions and attitudes, I am SO grateful!

One of the crazy parts of what happens when we are offended is that it can be by the smallest thing. Satan comes at us and hits us in our most vulnerable spot. That one “word” spoken by someone, whether friend or foe, can turn into a festering boil inside of us.

Such was what happened to me this morning. This is going to sound silly, but it goes to show that no matter what is said or done, it can reach into us, and we find ourselves slipping from joy to mulling over an offense all day if we are not careful.

I recently made a purchase I probably shouldn’t have, on a whim. For that, I take full responsibility. But I decided to right the wrong of my spontaneous purchase and list it in the community Newsletter. Because of my love of writing, I wrote what I thought was a humorous ad that would at least bring a smile to someone’s face, even if they weren’t interested in buying the article.

I submitted it and waited in anticipation for the Newsletter to come as it does every Thursday morning. Well, here is where that sinister dart found its mark. The ad I wrote was NOT what they printed. They took my creative description and boiled it down to three lines. They might as well have said, “Dead cat for sale, call this number.” That was about as exciting, or should I say would have been more exciting.

They simply said what the item was, what I was hoping to sell it for, and a number to call. When I read it all, all I could think was, “Why?” Maybe they thought all the other descriptive additions were just for their information? Maybe they don’t consider the FOR SALE section of the Newsletter a place for anyone to display their sense of humor?

Needless to say, it stung! Now what am I supposed to do? Within a few minutes of waking up with joy and anticipation of my day with the Lord, I have now been offended, and it’s all I can think about.

Do I want to email this person and tell them exactly what they did? YES! Do I think I deserve to have my say in the matter? Yes! Will I send my poison-darted email to this person, thinking that I’ll get closure? NO! Most likely, it will cause me even more pain and humiliation when they repost my ad with their comments.

So I came here, to my safe place. But first went to the Lord asking HIM to help me forgive this person through whom the offense came. I don’t want to carry this in my heart. I rarely run into this person where I live, and don’t want the OLD Sue to rear her ugly head and be rude to them. The sad part is that the people who are doing the offending most of the time have no idea they have wounded someone.

We are told to forgive those who offend us. That’s not easy on your own. I know because for years I could dredge up offenses like a net full of fish! I can’t afford to let this continue today. As I have gotten older, the Holy Spirit has helped me let go of so many things because if I don’t, it breaks my fellowship with the Lord, and NOTHING is worth that!

My heart goes out to anyone reading this post who has been offended and has allowed it to turn into a painful, poisonous boil in their heart and mind. Please, if you know the Lord, ask Him to help you let it go. If you don’t know the Lord, then this is a good time to come to Him, and let His love and forgiveness bring salvation to your life. I can’t think of a better outcome for being offended than being turned into one of the most Glorious decisions in your life.

I bless you!

Do you know that God knits?

I am a crafter. I’ve loved all kinds of crafts, but one day the Lord asked me to narrow down my creativity. Of course, writing was no. 1. When I looked at the boxes full of unfinished crafts, I realized that I started all of them with great intentions of finishing them, but I didn’t.

But writing books has been what I go back to and complete them as God gives me the stories. So I boxed up all the many crafts and donated them to a thrift shop. It was hard to do, I have to admit. But once I decided that writing held my heart, I could give the other things away, hoping that someone would finish them and have great joy in doing so. But God finishes what he creates. He knits. Yes, he actually does knit. Here is proof of it.

Psalms 139: 13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit them together in my mother’s womb. 14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! It is amazing to think about. Your workmanship is marvelous—and how well I know it. 15 You were there while I was being formed in utter seclusion! 16 You saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe. Every day was recorded in your book! 17-18 How precious it is, Lord, to realize that you are thinking about me constantly! I can’t even count how many times a day your thoughts turn toward me. And when I wake in the morning, you are still thinking of me!

Isn’t that amazing?! When I read this scripture, my creative mind can see God kiting every part of us. He fashioned each one of us to be uniquely perfect. When no one else had laid eyes on us, God saw every detail while He finished us. But that’s not the end of His loving attention to every detail about us.

Read this again.

How precious it is, Lord, to realize that you are thinking about me constantly! I can’t even count how many times a day your thoughts turn toward me. And when I wake in the morning, you are still thinking of me!

Maybe you are feeling alone in your life right now. Maybe you wonder if anyone even sees you. God does!

When we become a Christian, and the Holy Spirit moves into our lives as teacher, guide, and helper, God’s focus becomes even greater. He loves being my friend. He loves spending every moment with me. I think there are times when I don’t see myself as precious or appreciate the fact that I am God's workmanship. But God continues to admire his handiwork, which I am.

Think about that. Have there been times that you made something with your own hands and stepped back and thought how perfect of a job you did? Well, that’s what God does with us. He looks lovingly at us, admiring his handiwork. God doesn’t make anything imperfect. When he fashions each one of us the way he does, he sees us as perfection.

I don’t know if God used knitting needles when He knits us, but He certainly loves what He creates. I hope today that I will look not only at myself but also at everyone I encounter and see us all as God’s handiwork.

I pray today that you will believe that God sees you right now, no matter where you are, and if you have not welcomed Him into your life, would you accept His salvation?

I bless you.

If you love to read, perhaps you would go check out what I have finished of my writing. Each book will open up the door to characters, places, and stories that God wrote through me.

https://www.amazon.com/stores/Susan-Todd/author/B0082D161E?ref=ap_rdr&shoppingPortalEnabled=true&ccs_id=1ebb91f4-2949-4faf-8904-7635a841bf26

 

 

Unbelievable!!

Well, here I am at last posting something new. I’ve had a few things floating around in my mind and spirit, but never could nail any of them down until today.

Recently, I have been reediting all my books. It’s hard to open them and see that there are so many things underlined in red, especially since I thought that I had edited them so well before. I have never been a good speller and admit to not having a handle on grammar either. But that hasn’t kept me from writing.

I always thought how strange that God gave me such a desire to write a book, and yet I am so poor at being good at these two highly needed skills. I guess just admitting to my fault will help any readers to forgive my mistakes.

One of the books that I have just finished reediting again is Living in My God-Given Square.  https://www.amazon.com/stores/Susan-Todd/author/B0082D161Eref=ap_rdr&shoppingPortalEnabled=true&ccs_id=1ebb91f4-2949-4faf-8904-7635a841bf26

It’s about my life and how the Lord has healed so many emotional hurts that I endured because of what other people deposited into my life.

I live in a Christian community, so I guess that I take it for granted that other people living here have a similar relationship with the Lord as I do. Believe me, I am NOT perfect, nor do I think that my relationship with God lacks more work. God will never be through with any of us until we step into Heaven.

I guess when I’ve had the opportunity to share things about my life with someone I’ve met here, I’m amazed at how quizzically they look at me. I realize even more the difference when they say that they have never had any experiences with the Lord, as I have.

I know the real truthful answer to that is maybe they aren’t as NEEDY as I am. I have always needed the Lord. If it wasn’t for Him, I don’t know how I’d have made it this far in life. Reediting this book has been a reminder of just how much God has changed me. I was such an emotional mess. Day after day, the same old records ran around in my head over and over. I could remember every word that person said to me, even down to what they were wearing and where we were at the time. Sometimes I truly believed that I would go crazy and have to be committed somewhere.

All I wanted was to be normal. But what is normal? I don’t think I’ve ever run into a normal person. There have been times when I envied a person’s life just because they weren’t plagued with my problem and never had been. But today, as I have an occasion to meet new people and, within a few minutes of talking to them, I see that their problem might not be the same as mine, but they are still dragging around baggage from their struggles.

God is no respecter of persons. I am not a special case. (Although I am the Apple of God’s eye!) But so are you. How He can make each one of us feel that we are His special child, I don’t know. But I was never anyone’s special person growing up and years into my adult life. Other than God, having the love of my son has made me feel special. I know that he loves me and that I love him beyond words. So many parents are estranged from their children or at least one child, and I can’t even imagine how that feels. I have been so blessed with my relationship with my son. Because of that, the hurt in the eyes of another person who doesn’t even know where their child is, let alone have any communication with them, leaves me saddened.

I hope that will be one of the first things God does when he brings a renewal and revival to the world one last time before He comes back. When I think about how God must feel right now, being separated from one of his children for whatever reason, and it being compounded over thousands of times—goes beyond my imagination. Not to mention people who have never accepted His love and forgiveness. Having to watch these people every day, knowing that He can help them and change their lives, and they refuse Him over and over.

If you know the Lord and what He has done for you, take a moment to thank Him for all He has done for you.  But if you are still running from Him, thinking that you don’t need God, I pray that today something will cause you to stop, acknowledge God, ask for forgiveness, and step into your New God-Given Square! What a glorious thing will happen to you!

 

I bless you