Where does your mind go first?

1 Corinthians 4:5 Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise of God.

Whether we all confess it or not, each one of us has an instant standard of belief—the glass is half full or half empty. We use this standard in various ways depending on the circumstances. To put it in a different way, some people are natural optimists, and some are pessimists. But as Christians we are to first think on whatsoever is true, of good report, honest, and loving. Not just about others but about our own selves.

Proverbs 23: 7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.

When my journey toward healing started the very first thoughts I had to accept were about what God said about me. I had to believe God over everything I was feeling and seeing. I had to judge God righter than what my circumstances were telling my senses.

We live in a body governed by five senses. If we can’t see it, touch it, taste it, smell it, or hear it, then it’s not real. That’s what our natural body tells us. But when we become born of the Spirit, our spirit comes alive, and we die to the senses. It’s like a house going from running off electricity to now operating by solar. But we are still living in the same house.

I had to make an instant decision. I could within those first few minutes make a choice. Was I going to believe what I was seeing and feeling or was I going to listen to the voice of God telling me to trust Him and allow Him to show me how He works in this world? I wish I could say that my faith was so strong that I made my choice out of the full knowledge of knowing God, but I’d not be telling the truth.

I can back that up by a recent situation just yesterday. I want to believe that I’m a person who leans toward the positive about things that happen in my life but I’m still learning things about myself—some I need to change.

I ordered a bottle of vitamins and knew that it would be a few days before they arrived. Honestly, I sort of forgot they were coming. When I did remember, I went to the site I ordered them from and there was confirmation that they had indeed been shipped and delivered by FedEx. FedEx has a habit of taking a picture as proof of delivery. But the package hadn’t been delivered to my door, it was left between the two electric doors at the front of the building where anyone could easily take it.

My first thought was anything but true. I listened to that carnal side of my mind and instantly believed that someone had taken it. I became angry with FedEx. Their drivers are the laziest among delivery drivers. I’ve had other items left downstairs rather than them taking the time to do their jobs right. So, in my mind I was out my bottle of vitamins; not to mention the dishonest person who took my package.

But in my spirit, I was hearing something different. I heard, call the office, and see if my package was sitting there that had been delivered two days ago. I didn’t listen. I leaned toward my own understanding and not the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is always ready to help us if we will listen to His voice and obey it.

This morning my phone rang and it was the manager calling to tell me that she had a package in the office for me and apologized for getting busy and not letting me know it was in the office. Right then I heard the Holy Spirit’s conviction—not condemnation but loving conviction. I could have saved myself from two days of a bad attitude had I listened and obeyed.

Recently another more heartfelt situation happened and for three days I have been struggling with my feelings over believing what I know is true. Every day we have choices to make. Are we going to walk in our old man or walk in the Holy Spirit? There shouldn’t even be a question but sadly the flesh doesn’t die easily. Even when we have walked with God for many years we can slip up. Thankfully, I’ve learned to turn my heart and mind around much quicker. Years ago, I went months suffering with my feelings. Now it can be as quickly as a few minutes. But in these two back-to-back cases it was three days.

I knew that God was trying to teach me a very valuable lesson. I cannot trust my feelings. I had jumped to conclusions, which shows me that there is still a lot of work that needs to be done inside of me.

Praise God, that the night standing in the shower when it was a matter of my life, I listened. I set my feelings outside of my body and refused to believe what all my senses were telling me. I chose to believe God.

Dear reader, if you have been born again and have the Holy Spirit living within you, you can do the same thing. I had to wake up to a daily choice. I also had to not judge my circumstances before the time no matter what was to come.

Chemotherapy and radiation were soon to be in my future. There would be words spoken to me and over my life that I would either believe or remember what God said. One of the hardest to deal with was knowing that I was to be as the man who Jesus said to go wash in the Pool of Siloam in John 9:7. My healing was going to be a journey even though I knew that the very moment I chose to believe the voice of the Holy Spirit I was healed.

God’s thoughts are so much higher than ours and His ways are not our ways. I want to live and walk by the Spirit about even the smallest things in my life. I got my bottle of vitamins and I’m choosing to believe the best of the other circumstance and about myself. Not making judgments before the time.

I bless you.

 

 

 

 

When unexpected events change what you are praying for. 

While being transported to another hospital there were so many thoughts going through my mind. I had to make myself relax and let God do His work in this unexpected situation. Because for months this certainly wasn’t what I had been praying about. Living in Ohio was a result of my daughter-in-law’s family living here. So naturally, when my son retired this was where we were to call home. We’d been living here for nearly twelve years at this time.

But I had been seeking the Lord about opening up a door for us to move back to Florida after her family had made their unexpected move there. Consequently, we were the only part of her family still living in Ohio. I understood that not having her family here now, she would also want to leave. It really was all right with me and certainly my son as well.

Sometimes it felt as though we had been living forty years in the desert like the children of Israel. It wasn’t home to either my son or me. We were used to the southern hospitality that was sorely missing where we were currently living. With the news that she was eager to move, I fell right into wanting the same thing but for far different reasons. I wanted to go home. Home for me had been around the northern part of the state. I had friends there. Friends that I missed tremendously. A couple in particular that I had recently reunited with was making missing them increasingly harder every day.

As a result, these thoughts had been monopolizing my thoughts daily. We had caught up with one another and been back in each other’s life for about two years and the friendship was as sweet as it had ever been, in fact, I think even sweeter. After being on Facebook and using its message portion daily, Marie and I had rekindled our close-knit friendship as if we had never been apart. Her daughter, Teresa, and I shared the same sort of friendship, laced with a deep affection based on our common faith. God had made us prayer partners, agreeing as touching prayer partners.

Sadly, during the last two years, Marie had become ill and passed away leaving a massive void in the lives of everyone who knew and loved her. A void that it would take many people to fill, if at all possible. She was the hub of her family and the vast community of friends. We weren’t sure that space would ever heal. This left Teresa, her daughter, and I to solidify our bond even more out of a grief that is almost at times inconsolable. Thus, we were praying for my return daily. We had been praying about my return to Florida, perhaps even in or around the same area when I now found myself being shuttled to a hospital late in the evening. Neither of us saw this coming.

My thoughts were interrupted when I felt the ambulance making its turn into the Emergency driveway. I had to bring my mind back to the present moment. I had to begin to listen to that comforting voice I was accustomed to hearing that I know as the Holy Spirit.

It didn’t take long for them to get me settled into my room and begin to assure me that I was in good hands. I knew the Hands that I was already in, but I welcomed the human hands that would be taking care of me also.

Reassured that I was going to be well taken care of, my son was convinced to go home and get some rest. He had worked the prior day and now had been up for over twenty-four hours. I was safely somewhere that if the bleeding became too profuse again there were people around me who would help. Once he was assured, I let myself begin my conversation again with the Lord.

Laying in bed, I took a really deep breath and exhaled as much of the dread of being swept up in the medical world as I could. Hadn’t God spoken to me that He would show me that He could overcome any system? I, being a nurse, myself, was a little in doubt. I knew what it was like. Everything takes time. You have to learn that in the world it’s ‘take a number’ and wait. With the recent outbreak of Covid in our country and around the world, take a number had taken on a much different meaning.

Medical staffing was hard put to be as attentive or answer the many call lights as quickly as usual. I prided myself on being a model patient. I was cooperative and knew that I wasn’t going to be the only one needing attention. That night I resigned myself to doing exactly what the Lord had told me to do—trust Him. Therefore, I relaxed and let myself drift off to sleep; no sense in both He and I stay awake.

 

  Books Books Books!

Here is the link to all my books on Amazon. 

https://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/entity/author/B0082D161E

I hope that you will take a shopping trip there. My books are good reading. They are faith-based and have believable characters. There's a variety of stories. Bullied from the Womb is my life story.

A Stone's throw away from Christmas is a delightful story of colorful female characters who end up having to learn a great deal about themselves and others. It was around Christmas which opened their hearts, even more, to see what gifts they had to give one another. 

God Declares, "Tell them I AM." this came out of one single question I asked the Lord one day. I wanted to know what He was thinking as he walked through His time here on earth.

Guilty Innocence was written for my dear mother who loved a good mystery.

January Sky was my very first book. It came from a picture of two polar bears on a calendar. 

Tangled Lives is a love story about two people that found each other twice. Their love never died for one another and the unexpected reunion will keep you wanting to read more. 

The Others finds a woman sitting in a late-night diner about to walk into a lifestyle she never could have imagined. And yet that is exactly what she ends up doing. She imagines a life for herself that comes to pass. 

Whales in the Pond will take you on a journey back from regret and unforgiveness. 

A Clap of Thunder starts with a woman wandering around a store one night unable to find her way in life until another shopper takes her home and begins to help put the pieces of her life back together. 

Eternity's Portal will take you to a place where you will have to decide if it's real or not. 

 Christians that believe in healing go to doctors too.

 I want to share my recent journey of health with you. It started back in July of 2022. Seems incredible that it’s been nine months and I’m sitting here healed.

I’ll only mention my diagnosis once because all through my journey I didn’t see myself as a cancer victim. I can’t begin to emphasize the importance of the first moments that my journey started.

While entering my bathroom one night thinking that my incontinence had become worse, I was surprised by multiple blood clots (one the size of my hand) hitting the floor around me. This was followed by a steady stream of blood. I might add here that I’m not a panic person. As odd as it might sound, the first thing I thought and even said aloud was, “Oh, no Lord, this is something I know I can’t ignore. But I’m not looking forward to having to be swept up in the medical world of hurry up and wait.” I was more disturbed about having to call 911 and my son than anything else.

As I tried to prepare myself for transport I was praying. This is what the Lord spoke to me while standing in the shower, “Susan, Trust me, I will show you that I can and will overcome all the systems of the world.” I was instantly filled with a peace that never and still hasn’t left me.

Once I was on my way to the ER this Word came into my spirit, not my mind. The healing of the blind man that was instructed to go wash in the Pool of Siloam after Jesus put the mud on his eyes. I knew that this was going to be my experience for however long.

John 9:4 I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh when no man can work. 5 As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world. 6 When he had thus spoken, he spat on the ground and made clay of the spittle, and he anointed the eyes of the blind man with the clay, 7 And said unto him, Go, wash in the pool of Siloam, (which is by interpretation, sent. He went his way therefore and washed, and came seeing.

So my journey started with some very important instructions from the Lord. Had I expected this to come into my life? No, not at all. In fact, when this began, my lifelong friend had just signed up for Andrew Wommack’s Healing college course. She had been feeling the call in her life to do this for a very long time. Never did either of us foresee me being one of the first people she would walk through a need of healing with. But we were in it.

One day after I was home from my first hospitalization, and talking to Teresa, I was curious about all the ways that Jesus healed. One of the major understandings about healing is found in Isaiah.

Isaiah 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him, and with his stripes, we are healed.

That healing is already ours from the Cross is a fact. We were healed by the stripes of Jesus. It’s not a maybe, or he might heal us, it’s that we ARE healed. This can mean a lot of different things to many people. But I wanted to see for myself where I would fall into the line of faith. I thought about the woman with the issue of blood first.

Matthew 9: 20 And, behold, a woman, which was diseased with an issue of blood twelve years, came behind him, and touched the hem of his garment: 21 For she said within herself, If I may but touch his garment, I shall be whole. 22 But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour.

But as I searched out the many healings, I realized that the Centurion whose servant was ill was even more profound than I thought.

Matthew 8: 5 And when Jesus was entered into Capernaum, there came unto him a centurion, beseeching him, 6 And saying, Lord, my servant lieth at home sick of the palsy, grievously tormented. 7 And Jesus saith unto him, I will come and heal him. 8 The centurion answered and said, Lord, I am not worthy that thou shouldest come under my roof: but speak the word only, and my servant shall be healed. 9 For I am a man under authority, having soldiers under me: and I say to this man, Go, and he goeth; and to another, Come, and he cometh; and to my servant, Do this, and he doeth it. 10 When Jesus heard it, he marveled and said to them that followed, Verily I say unto you, I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel.

I thought about my faith. Did I have the faith to simply say to the Lord, just speak the Word and I’m healed? I knew inside of me that I could not say that. Especially, because I had already heard Him instruct me to go “wash” just as he did to the blind man. I knew that I was going to have to trust and be medically treated. I didn’t see at that time what all that would entail. I was not only on a physical journey but one of a spiritual nature as well.

Let me emphasize here one thing that is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. God didn’t strike me with cancer to teach me anything. That is in complete opposition to the Word. Many people think that these things that come upon us are Heaven-sent. I am not one of those people. We live in a sinful broken world and are all subject to life. I never questioned how or why this came into my life. It had and I was determined to walk through it believing that I was already healed and if God so granted me any further understanding then that would be a plus.

So, let’s start there.

I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer. The morning of my first doctor visit after the doctor gave me her understanding of what that would mean to my life, I gave her mine. I told her that I was going to be a success story. I had no doubt in my mind that I would walk away from this healed. I didn’t go into great detail as to why I believed this because I could already see that I was dealing with a doctor who was going to depend on her medical understanding and to give her any of my faith-filled words was going to fall on deaf ears. My understanding and Teresa’s was all that I needed at that time.

Along with having Teresa as my prayer of agreement partner, I had the love and strength of my wonderful son. He was also going to be an important part of my recovery team. But he and I had to start out on a different foot. He’s been a Christian since his youth but over the years his faith has been tested by the cares of the world. One of the first conversations we had together was once I got home. I asked him what was the most important thing he needed from me. He said, “Mom, I can’t deal with the spiritual part of this with you. You and Teresa are going to have to do that. I just can’t right now.”

I understood him. He knows that his mother lives by faith and he was starting from an empty tank in his own life and was already mad at God for even letting this happen to his mother. I also understood that had I refused to go get the medical help that he would never understand and would be devastated. But thankfully, God had already settled that for me by giving me the scriptures I was to keep tucked in my heart and follow.

So, in July of 2022, my journey started. I hope you will come back and follow along with me as I unfold to date where this journey has led me.

I bless you.

 

 

 

 

This TITLE is meant to catch your eye.

High time I came back to Brook of the Willows myself.

It’s been quite a while since I came here to post my thoughts. I have been on a personal health journey that I will explain soon but for today this is what I want to share. Let’s start with a Word in Ephesians.

Ephesians 1:1 Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, to the saints which are at Ephesus, and to the faithful in Christ Jesus: 2 Grace be to you, and peace, from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ. 3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ: 4 According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: KJV

Over the last few months, I have been learning how to really take in the Word of God. I’ve learned that it has to be digested. The Word can become like a good satisfying meal if we take the time to savor it.

The Word also says in, Psalm 34: 8 Oh taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.

Just like I hope you would not rush through a wonderful meal, I hope you’ll linger here awhile with me. Paul became chosen by God on the road to Damascus. It changed his entire life. A life he never went back to. A life so changed that he wrote much of the New Testament that today you and I can receive so much benefit from. Isn’t it amazing that a man who was so against Christians became such a source of Christian encouragement?

He starts by offering the Ephesians a place to begin. Grace and Peace from God the Father and Jesus. That’s where I want to start today for you. All of us need Grace and Peace spoken over our lives. We are living in a world where that is in short supply. So much chaos and bad news confront our lives every day. Not to mention what each of us faces personally. That’s why here at Brook of the Willows, I want it to be a place you will want to come for a “time out” from whatever is shaking your life. Let your mind settle in right now for a minute by taking a deep breath and receive that Peace. Whatever is demanding your time and attention can wait for a few minutes while you relax here.

Good.

Now let’s read together what Paul has to say next.

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ.

My goodness. It’s like opening a gift on Christmas morning! We have been blessed by God with ALL spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ. If you know the Lord then you know that where He is so are we. We are in Him and He is in us. Which means that we live in a Heavenly place. A place where all blessings are available to us. Have you ever thought about that? What are those blessings? Well, we know that Grace and Peace are two of them. Rest, Love, Comfort of the Holy Spirit, Kindness, Joy; the list goes on. The problem for most of us is that we either don’t know what is available to us or we don’t stop long enough to enjoy what has been given to us.

Oh, if we would only come to know God for who He really is! How much He longs to have a personal and intimate relationship with each of us. To understand how much He wants to walk with us every day. To share in every aspect of our lives. To bless us, strengthen us, encourage us, and listen to the cries of our hearts. I don’t know about you, but one of the things my life has always desired was to “be chosen.” Here Paul is telling each of us that we HAVE been chosen. Not by another person, but by God Himself!

4 According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world,

Before each of us was ever born, God said, “I choose Sue. I choose (put in your own name.)” Think about that for a minute.

You and I were going to come into this world not by chance but by choice. There are no accidental births. God wanted you and me here.

I don’t think we give enough thought to the miracle of birth. No matter under what circumstances, each of us should be seen as a person that God designed and sent here for a purpose. But let’s not stop there. There is more Paul has to tell us.

that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:

All of this Word is blessing me as I write it but this especially. I was raised by someone who didn’t think my life certainly seemed holy or without blame to him. In fact, just the opposite. There was no love. Maybe you know too what it feels like to just be tolerated. To not have any words of kindness or acceptance ever spoken to you. At times I felt more like a nuisance. When our childhood starts out that way it often gets carried into our adult life. We end up searching for something or someone to make our lives have meaning. To be shown some Grace, to have some Peace, to feel chosen, and certainly to feel Loved.

Well, if you are someone who has found your way here to Brook of the Willows, then you just found that some One who can give you all that.

God.

Maybe you came here by accident. Maybe you weren’t thinking about God at all. But just maybe you should while you are here. I would hope that at some time in your life someone has said, “God loves you.” to you. If not, I’m saying it to you today.

I hope you’ll spend some time here thinking about what you have just read and even more, carry it off with you. These words are not just for my life today, (although I need them too) they were meant for you to share in also.

You are so precious to God. He longs for you to come to Him. To have a real relationship with Him.

Stay awhile and come back again.

I bless you.

 

 

 

 

 The art of being successfully unsuccessful.

Have I confused you already? I hope not. What is success? Most would say that being successful is… That’s where my thoughts stop. I have to admit that I don’t really know what it means to be successful in the eyes of the world. Most of the world, I dare say, doesn’t even know that I’m in it and will most likely never know I tramped my way through this fascinating orb we live on.

There are a few people who became a part of my life and I theirs. My beginning wasn’t very positive and the possibility of my even making an entrance into the world was iffy.

But as you see, I did make it. I made it only because of the grace of God. He evidently wanted me here. My father on the other hand—did not. I did not find out this fact until I had navigated thirty-six years of hating everything about myself. Living with a death wish that I had no idea why or where it came from.

In a few words, upon hearing that my mother was pregnant with their second child, my father offered a solution to the problem, an abortion. Now, mind you, this was 1948. My mother was obviously a young married lady so why would be getting an abortion even be suggested? I’m sure there were many secret abortions conducted back then. There were many things back then in families that were never talked about publicly. Most relational issues were confined within the walls of your own house in the neighborhood. It wasn’t like it is today. It seems the world has turned private things upside down. Now there seem to be no privacy issues.

But, let me continue. Consequently, for the first third of my life, I considered the fact that I got out of bed and lived for twenty-four hours a real success. Every waking hour was spent wondering when the proverbial shoe would fall, and I would no longer be here. Let me tell you, it’s not a good way to live. In short, an attempt was made and I failed. This only heightened my internal conversation about what a terrible mistake God made in believing that I needed to be in His world. After all, my father didn’t think so and when he spoke those fatal words to my dear young mother, they went all the way down into the growing embryo from which God fashioned me. This dark thread got woven into my DNA that day and came to the forefront of my life.

One of the constant struggles was seeing my life as useless. I was a world watcher. Every day I watched other people seemingly being quite successful at this thing called—living. I wondered how they did it. People made plans for their future. They talked about vacations they would take. Purchases they were planning to make. Families they were going to raise. On and on I listened, wondering how do people do this?

As I watched, years rolled by. I began to realize that whether or not I wanted to see another day, I was seeing them. I had successfully lived thirty-six years. In my eyes, I had managed to be successfully unsuccessful.

It wasn’t that I had worked at not being successful. On the contrary, I had worked hard on many things trying to find that for which I was created. Selling various home business potions, soaps, and healthy green drinks. I tried it all. The only thing I was successful in doing was depleting my already much limited financial livelihood on kits that held promise only for the people who sold them to me. It took me slogging through more no-show home parties to realize that I was not cut out for being an entrepreneur.

I finally had to face the fact that the world dangles a very different convincing picture of what success means. If you look a certain way. Dress a certain way. Have multiple followers and likes. And of course, be in demand for whatever it is you do. If none of these tags fit, then you fall outside of the realm of being successful.

I dare say, I think this is the majority of the world. Given that there are approximately 7.9 billion people in the world I’d venture to say that the majority are obscure individuals known only to the small space they hold on this earth. Does that make them unsuccessful? In the eyes of the world, definitely.

But the world stage doesn’t have the final say about a person’s success rate. Honestly, I have been successful at being unsuccessful. My footprint is very small. But I do have one. You have one, howbeit ever so small.

When God entered my life at twenty-one years of age, it took him another fifteen years to show me that He considered me one of His successes.

You see, while my father’s words had wound their way down into my, still, under construction form, God was busy knitting me together. That’s an incredible thing to think about. But we have to approach it scripturally.

Psalm 139:13-16 For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. 14. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

16 Thine eyes did see my substance yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. 17 How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!

Think with me for a minute, that while the world was whirling around and people rushing and bustling about, God was involved with knitting you together in your mother’s womb. He had a design that was—you. Every cell, every chromosome, right down to how many inches there would be between your footsteps.

No one tells us about this. No one whispers this in our baby ears—Psalm 139. And very few of us are encouraged throughout our lives about just how marvelous a workmanship we are. Quite the contrary.

I’ve come back to this scripture today. It was the very truth spoken to me that caused the chains to fall away and I was set free of all the years I struggled to live.

When my mother finally shared with me what my father had suggested she do to rid himself of another child, the word I used to describe him was, cruel. How cruel that was of him to ask my mother to have an abortion. So, as I sat on the edge of my bed holding my Bible in my hands crying out to God to show me the truth of what had plagued me all my life, this was the scripture He took me to.

71 In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust: let me never be put to confusion. 2 Deliver me in thy righteousness and cause me to escape: incline thine ear unto me and save me. 3 Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress. 4 Deliver me, O my God, out of the hand of the wicked, out of the hand of the unrighteous and cruel man. 5 For thou art my hope, O Lord God: thou art my trust from my youth. 6 By thee have I been holden up from the womb: thou art he that took me out of my mother's bowels: my praise shall be continually of thee. 7 I am as a wonder unto many, but thou art my strong refuge.

When someone talks about hearing God’s voice or having an ongoing personal relationship with God through the indwelling Holy Spirit, it can sound unworldly. They would be right.

I was born into this world in a bodily form with my soul being what I used to navigate with. But tucked inside of all of us, laying dormant until sparked to life is our spirit. We are soul and spirit. We start out soulish without the possibility of ever making it out of this world alive. But then when the miraculous New Birth happens, everything changes.

No one can experience this for us. I’ll sum this up in this way. While I was yet seen by any eye in this world, God saw me. He was the first to witness my being. While all the world was busy living life, God was creating my life safely tucked within my mother. The world didn’t know I was coming. My father wasn’t happy about knowing I was coming, and my dear mother was determined to see that I did.

You might not need this posting today. In fact, it might just be another of my successful unsuccessful contributions to the internet. No one but me might read it and that’s okay. Because I have the right and privilege to send this out into the world, whether read or not, to exclaim the fact that God wanted me in His world. I might be very successful in being unsuccessful by the world’s standards, but not by God’s.

I sometimes still struggle with believing that when God looks at me and the Holy Spirit whispers in my adult ear how wonderful and marvelously made, I am, it supersedes all other voices.

In closing, if you are like me and feel that the only thing you have been successful at is being unsuccessful, then take heart dear one. You are God’s success. That’s how He sees you. A completely successful process that He brought to completion the day you were born.

You can claim these scriptures as your own too.

The very first thing you did successfully was to enter this world with God’s stamp of approval on you. You can’t get any more successful than that. No matter what your accomplishments or lack thereof, you are a success.

I bless you, please come back.

 

 

 Sometimes God has to knock us off our Donkey

 You might be thinking, “But, I don’t have a donkey.”

I don’t either. Saul did and one day very unexpectedly, God knocked him off, and instantly he said, “Who art thou, Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks.” KJV

I find it interesting that Saul knew instantly who it was that interrupted his day. Do you? Do I? I think so. I call it being put in my bayonet room. Let me explain. It feels as though the door has opened to a small confining room with bayonets sticking out from the walls in all directions. There’s only enough space for me to stand in this room until I get still.

The more I struggle to get free the more I feel the pricking frustration. I’ve learned that this is a place in my spirit where God has taught me many lessons. I know instantly when I hear the door open what is coming.

Sometimes I have to stand there and cry out in my anger and frustration. I don’t want to stop and be still! As crazy as it sounds, even to me, I don’t want to do anything but keep hitting my head against whatever problem I’m experiencing on my own.

That’s usually the first thing, once I get quiet, that I come to understand about being back in this room. I’ve gotten on my high-donkey and ridden off without letting the Lord lead me. Not taking time to pray or if I did it was filled with my wants and my ideas. And, yes, I don’t know about you, but I am a professional at giving God suggestions as to how to work out my problems.

The not so funny thing is that so often God never listens to me and hardly ever takes my advice. To which, in the end, I’m glad that He didn’t do what I asked in the way that I asked it.

I’m not in the bayonet room right now, but I am in a waiting room. It’s where I step into and find a seat once I quit throwing my tantrum in the bayonet room.

It’s sort of a blessing. To be able to finally know that all God wanted to do was get my attention to show me what it is He has planned for me. Which is all He ever wanted to do in the first place.

Going back to Saul/Paul’s life for a minute, let’s think about why God knocked him off his donkey that day and not long before. I think it was because Paul needed to take a good long, hard look at the man he was and the man he became. We all need to do that.

I don’t know why I ever end up back in this spiritual room when I already have so much to look back at in my life. It would take endless hours to write it all here. God has done things in my life that I know that I know there is no way I changed other than He changed me.

Day by day, experience by experience, healing by healing in my mind and emotions. So why DO I ever end up back in that room? Because I get looking at the wrong thing. I want a solution to whatever I’m facing. I want to take matters into my own hands and before I know it, frustration, anger, and hurt start weighing me down. I know better but don’t always DO better.

I don’t think I’m alone in this conduct. Paul was there also when he wrote, Romans 7:15 I do not understand what I do; for I don't do what I would like to do, but instead I do what I hate. Good News Translation

The only thing I differ in opinion about is, I do understand my drifting from what I know I should do. I don’t just have to but NEED to stay close to the Lord. Every minute of every day I NEED to be led by the Holy Spirit. I’ve learned, or you’d think I’d learned, that I can’t afford to go off on my own thought life.

We are told to search the scriptures for therein lay all the things pertaining to Godliness. Things that we were given by the death and resurrection of Jesus. We already have what we need. Why on earth do we somehow begin to think that we can do life better than the One who created us in the first place?

There is no acceptable answer to that question. I don’t know what my life needs. I don’t know what lies ahead of me in the coming days or years. I don’t even know what might assail me in the next minute.

What we all should be doing is seeking God with all our hearts FIRST and then just as in, Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.

Matthew was quoting from Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. 12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. 13 And ye shall seek me, and find me when ye shall search for me with all your heart. 14 And I will be found of you, saith the Lord: and I will turn away your captivity, KJV

Let your mind dwell on this for a few minutes. What an incredible promise. God is saying to us these truths. If you will come to me and seek me first above whatever it is that you are asking of me, I will hear you. We’ll talk about it together. I’ll share my mind and thoughts on the subject and if you will heed my advice, I’ll be the one to add ALL THINGS unto your life.

Goodness. What a promise. If we are reading this rightly. We don’t have but one thing that WE need to do. We only need to go running into our Heavenly Father’s office crying out, “Abba Father! Daddy? Dad? Are you hear?”

And instantly, like Paul, we’ll hear, “I’M here.”

I know what my biggest fault with all this is and stated it at the beginning of this posting. I don’t want to STOP and put down everything to seek God’s face. That’s the truth. It isn’t that I don’t know through experience that God always answers me in ways I never dreamed. Not one time! Not one time in my whole walk with Him has he ever forsaken me or abandoned me.

So, who is to blame here? Me. Me. Me. Every time it’s me. But thank God there’s hope for me. Not only do I get put in my bayonet timeout room, but I come out, get forgiven and there’s a blessing waiting for me on the other side of the door. A blessing that my Heavenly Father had planned for me all along. I was the one who delayed His giving it to me.

But I’ll close with this. I learn. I really do. I learn something more about the Love of the Father every time I get too busy, too distracted, or just too stubborn to stop and listen.

God loves us.

Why He does is a mystery. Why He went to such lengths to send Jesus to the cross only to have us fight Him about the way in which He wants to bless us, is a sin.

If you find yourself sitting on the ground, knocked off your donkey right now, be encouraged. It’s just God loving you in a way you didn’t expect. He’ll help you back up, wipe your tears after a good cry and hold you close while He explains to you what is going on. And He’ll give you even a sweeter blessing than you were asking for. Because that’s just another part of who He is. Ephesians 3:20 Now unto him that is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us. KJV

Be encouraged, dear reader. God loves you and He always has your best interest at heart, and He knows how to work all things together for your good.

I bless you. Please come again.