Sometimes God has to knock us off our Donkey
I don’t either. Saul did and one day very unexpectedly, God
knocked him off, and instantly he said, “Who art thou,
Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee
to kick against the pricks.” KJV
I find it interesting that Saul knew instantly who it was
that interrupted his day. Do you? Do I? I think so. I call it being put in my bayonet
room. Let me explain. It feels as though the door has opened to a small
confining room with bayonets sticking out from the walls in all directions.
There’s only enough space for me to stand in this room until I get still.
The more I struggle to get free the more I feel the pricking
frustration. I’ve learned that this is a place in my spirit where God has taught
me many lessons. I know instantly when I hear the door open what is coming.
Sometimes I have to stand there and cry out in my anger and
frustration. I don’t want to stop and be still! As crazy as it sounds, even to
me, I don’t want to do anything but keep hitting my head against whatever problem
I’m experiencing on my own.
That’s usually the first thing, once I get quiet, that I
come to understand about being back in this room. I’ve gotten on my high-donkey
and ridden off without letting the Lord lead me. Not taking time to pray or if
I did it was filled with my wants and my ideas. And, yes, I don’t know about you,
but I am a professional at giving God suggestions as to how to work out my
problems.
The not so funny thing is that so often God never listens to
me and hardly ever takes my advice. To which, in the end, I’m glad that He didn’t
do what I asked in the way that I asked it.
I’m not in the bayonet room right now, but I am in a waiting
room. It’s where I step into and find a seat once I quit throwing my tantrum in
the bayonet room.
It’s sort of a blessing. To be able to finally know that all
God wanted to do was get my attention to show me what it is He has planned for
me. Which is all He ever wanted to do in the first place.
Going back to Saul/Paul’s life for a minute, let’s think
about why God knocked him off his donkey that day and not long before. I think
it was because Paul needed to take a good long, hard look at the man he was
and the man he became. We all need to do that.
I don’t know why I ever end up back in this spiritual room when I already have so much to look back at in my life. It would take endless
hours to write it all here. God has done things in my life that I know that I
know there is no way I changed other than He changed me.
Day by day, experience by experience, healing by healing in my mind and emotions. So why DO I ever end up back in that room? Because I get looking at the wrong thing. I want a solution to whatever I’m facing. I want to take matters into my own hands and before I know it, frustration, anger, and hurt start weighing me down. I know better but don’t always DO better.
I don’t think I’m alone in this conduct. Paul was there also
when he wrote, Romans 7:15 I do not understand what I
do; for I don't do what I would like to do, but instead I do what I hate.
Good News Translation
The only thing I differ in opinion about is, I do understand
my drifting from what I know I should do. I don’t just have to but NEED
to stay close to the Lord. Every minute of every day I NEED to be led by the
Holy Spirit. I’ve learned, or you’d think I’d learned, that I can’t afford to
go off on my own thought life.
We are told to search the scriptures for therein lay all the
things pertaining to Godliness. Things that we were given by the death and resurrection
of Jesus. We already have what we need. Why on earth do we somehow begin to
think that we can do life better than the One who created us in the first place?
There is no acceptable answer to that question. I don’t know
what my life needs. I don’t know what lies ahead of me in the coming days or
years. I don’t even know what might assail me in the next minute.
What we all should be doing is seeking God with all our
hearts FIRST and then just as in, Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his
righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.
Matthew was quoting from Jeremiah 29:11 For
I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of
peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. 12 Then shall ye call
upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. 13 And
ye shall seek me, and find me when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
14 And I will be found of you, saith the Lord: and I will turn away
your captivity, KJV
Let your mind dwell on this for a few minutes. What an
incredible promise. God is saying to us these truths. If you will come to me
and seek me first above whatever it is that you are asking of me, I will hear
you. We’ll talk about it together. I’ll share my mind and thoughts on the subject
and if you will heed my advice, I’ll be the one to add ALL THINGS unto your
life.
Goodness. What a promise. If we are reading this rightly. We
don’t have but one thing that WE need to do. We only need to go running into
our Heavenly Father’s office crying out, “Abba Father! Daddy? Dad? Are you hear?”
And instantly, like Paul, we’ll hear, “I’M here.”
I know what my biggest fault with all this is and stated it
at the beginning of this posting. I don’t want to STOP and put down everything
to seek God’s face. That’s the truth. It isn’t that I don’t know through
experience that God always answers me in ways I never dreamed. Not one time!
Not one time in my whole walk with Him has he ever forsaken me or abandoned me.
So, who is to blame here? Me. Me. Me. Every time it’s me.
But thank God there’s hope for me. Not only do I get put in my bayonet timeout
room, but I come out, get forgiven and there’s a blessing waiting for me on the
other side of the door. A blessing that my Heavenly Father had planned for me
all along. I was the one who delayed His giving it to me.
But I’ll close with this. I learn. I really do. I learn
something more about the Love of the Father every time I get too busy, too distracted,
or just too stubborn to stop and listen.
God loves us.
Why He does is a mystery. Why He went to such lengths to
send Jesus to the cross only to have us fight Him about the way in which He
wants to bless us, is a sin.
If you find yourself sitting on the ground, knocked off your
donkey right now, be encouraged. It’s just God loving you in a way you didn’t
expect. He’ll help you back up, wipe your tears after a good cry and hold you
close while He explains to you what is going on. And He’ll give you even a sweeter
blessing than you were asking for. Because that’s just another part of who He
is. Ephesians 3:20 Now unto him that is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that
we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us. KJV
Be encouraged, dear reader. God loves you and He always has
your best interest at heart, and He knows how to work all things together for
your good.
I bless you. Please come again.
